THE PERFECT GALLERY WALL

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Right when you walk in our front door you see my open dining room, and for the past seven months it has been a blank slate. I wanted to make sure Elle's room, Levi's room, our kitchen and living room were decorated first because we use those spaces the most. 

Our dining room is like many others' in that it only gets used for special occasions and entertaining. It's nice to have when we are hosting people, but for the most part it's kind of like a museum in that it's my space in the house that can look pretty and not be touched. 

A space like this deserves the best art, and so I headed straight to Minted.com to curate my gallery wall with modern art and photography that reflected my style and also incorporated the colors of the space. I love Minted because all of the art on their site is crowd sourced, and it gives the opportunity for lesser known artists to shine. They also offer custom framing, so everything came perfectly packaged and ready to go. There are so many cute prints out there, but half of the time I never hang them up because I have to go find the right frame. They have completely eliminated that problem for you.

Another great tool Minted offers at no charge is pre-arranging your gallery wall so you know whether or not your art works well together, if you need to order a larger size, if you need to change the style of your frames, etc. It's a genius, no fuss beautiful customer experience. In fact, I love Minted so much that I'm a Minted Curator where I have my own storefront where I share my latest art obsessions. You can purchase all of the art you see on my wall by heading to my store.

This huge wall was in need of a console table to host barware or appetizers when needed, but I had a really hard time finding something long enough and tall enough. Plus, I wanted something that was different enough from my dining table, but that didn't compete with it at the same time. So, I commission my friend Ryan Walsh to create me a custom live edge table, and he delivered beyond my dreams. He even had hairpin legs made for it. I HIGHLY recommend checking out Lumberlust Designs if you're look for a special piece for your home.

The oriental carpet in our dinging room is the same one I grew up with as a kid. My mom let me have this special rug that has pink, navy, and ivory in it. It makes me smile knowing that my children are going to have similar memories with this rug. 

Our table and chairs are contemporary designs by Ligne Roset. I also was given this set by my mom when they moved from Houston to Idaho. Doesn't she have the best taste? Our chandelier is by Restoration Hardware, and was the first major splurge I had ever spent on interior design (check it out in our old house). I added two linen chairs to the end of the table to lighten the space and marry the rug to the table. 

I'm so pleased with how the spaced turned out. When people come to our house now the tone is set with modern art, contemporary design and comfortable living. 

Photography by Rennai Hoefer

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING NOT EVERYTHING

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I just got back from Mom 2.0 Summit where the theme of the conference was "redefining motherhood." The conference was for bloggers and influencers who are moms and often trying to balance the role of mom and business woman. It was an amazing time for me, and it brought about a lot of thoughts about what messages I had growing up and what messages I'm telling my children now. 

My mom and the women of the Baby Boomer generation paved the way for us all when they got their degrees and climbed corporate ladders all while being moms. My mom was a great example. She has her bachelors, masters and doctorate, and was an associate dean of a college science and mathematics. What a legacy she has left for me and other women. She truly showed me you can do anything. 

But in her 30's, the corporate world was still rigid about working 9am to 5pm, so having a choice to flex your hours, work from home, etc. didn't exist yet. I only got to see my mom between the hours of 6pm and 8pm and 6am and 8am during the week. It was really hard for her, but she didn't want to be JUST a mom, and I respect that. 

Now, Millianials moms like me have more choices and flexibility. It's a special time for women and I think it's only getting better. In fact, there's still more that needs to be done in regards to wage equality and gender equality. However, this new movement of mom-preneurs (myself included) trying to work full-time AND be a mom-full time is sending a bad message to our daughters saying, "You can be anything and you can do everything." 

But, we can't! That's a total lie! I do not want my daughter to think she needs to live up to this super-woman expectation because she will fail, and I want to set her up for success. At this point, I feel like I'm failing all of the time - as a business woman and mom - because I find myself half-assing everything. I do NOT want my children to feel this way. 

So, what IS the message that I want to send to my daughter? What is the message that I feel my generation is responsible for reinforcing?

You can be anything, but know your limits and set boundaries. Don't be afraid to say no. Don't try to wear every hat. Just try to wear one at a time. You can wear one hat for half a day and one for the other half, but no one looks good wearing two hats at once.

I'd love to hear what you think Millennial's messages should be to young girls. Please share with me. 

Photos by Keira Grace Photography.

 

REAL TALK REAL MOMS ON PLAY

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I don't know about you, but I feel like I have forgotten how to play. It's as if my mind is too full of tasks and reality that I can rarely use my imagination. Isn't that just sad?! I love that my kids try their hardest to keep the kid in me alive.

Elle is really into role playing right now. She's usually the mommy and I am her baby or she is Barbie and I'm always Teresa. Of course, her favorite is playing Elsa and I'm always Anna (p.s. that's fine by me because Anna is by far the coolest girl to ever be a Disney princess, in my opinion). Levi has yet to join in on the pretend party, but pretty soon I'm sure she'll make him Olaf or Hans. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, it does make playtime a challenge when my kids are three years apart. Levi prefers to have me hold his hands as he tries to figure out how to walk, which doesn't exactly leave me with another limb to play with Elle. It definitely has been a challenge figuring out how to play with my kids and spend time with them one on one. And this is what I have found that has helped so far:

1. I started Elle in preschool two mornings a week. This helped our whole family tremendously. As much as I miss her at home, she is a natural extrovert who prefers to be with friends and stay busy. This has given me an opportunity to have one-on-one time with Levi where I can just sit on the floor for an hour, and in the future, take him on special dates to the Library or to Starbucks for a chocolate croissant.

2. When Levi is napping and Elle is at home, Elle and I play together one on one. Sometimes she asks to just snuggle on the couch and watch a movie and other days we color, do an art project or we race outside. 

3. When they are both awake my attention is often more on Levi because he can't be independent right now, so I encourage Elle to do some solo play or she can play with me and Levi on the floor. 

4. Sometimes going to the park or going to Chic-fil-A is a great solution because Elle wants to play with friends and then I can still play with Levi, but that's not too often as the weather gets warmer here and when sickness is still really prevalent in the Valley. 

5. When Ryan comes home we usually spend a half hour playing as a family (if i have been able to get dinner taken care of) outside. This is our dog Wendy's favorite time of day because she gets included in playtime. 

I hope sharing how I approaching playtime with two kids. I'm sure it's going to change so much as they get older, but I hope they continue to keep my imagination and their imagination alive. Make sure to read about ways other moms are approaching playtime as part of the Real Talk Real Mom Series. 

Sarah Sherman Samuel, Apartment 34, The Effortless Chic, Parker, Etc., Sacramento Street, Our Style Stories, A Daily Something, Could I Have That, The Refined Woman

Also, as Mother's Day approaches consider supporting some rockstar moms in Uganda by shopping 31 Bits, a jewelry company featuring artisans from Africa that create beans with recycled paper. I'm wearing two of their pieces in these photos, and I have been a big supporter of them for several years. I can't say enough good about them.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

REAL TALK REAL MOMS ON SELF-CARE

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This is a post I have been wanting to write for several months now, and I'm so glad it is a topic that is part of the Real Mom Series that some other female bloggers will be addressing today as well. Please be sure to read their personal stories as we shine some light on how we are trying to take care of our bodies and minds while balancing the role of motherhood: Effortless Chic / Sarah Sherman Samuel / Apartment 34 / The Refined Woman / Parker Etc. / A Daily Something / Our Style Stories / Sacramento Street

This is me four months postpartum. I'm 148 pounds in this picture and wearing size 12 jeans. I took these photos knowing that I wanted to eventually discuss this topic of caring for your body and mind postpartum because this is probably the hardest thing for me to do for myself. In fact, loving my body and mind well has been hard for me to do all of my life, but motherhood definitely makes it more challenging. (Click here to read about my past body struggles). My hope is that any mom that reads this and feels similarly knows that she's not alone and that she is completely normal.

Motherhood forever changes your body and mind no matter if you have carried a child or not. Worries that were never there before race through your brain, sleeping through the night is a rarity for months, and time for yourself seems to be scarce. And, if you have had the gift of carrying a child in your body (I purposely say gift because I recognize that not every woman gets this chance even if they want it), you know that your body changes drastically during and after baby. This change is something I felt anxious about before I got pregnant with Elle and it returned when I was pregnant with Levi.

The funny thing is that my body was in better shape after Elle was born. I was thinner, I started to eat a lot better and go to the gym 3-4 times a week, my stress levels decreased, my strength increased, my energy increased, my mind was able to relax, I started sleeping better and my clothes fit better. (See my 30 flirty and thriving process). So, after bouncing back better than before, why in the world would I be anxious again about the changes in my body for my second pregnancy? 

Well, I have even less time juggling two kids, my business has grown since my first pregnancy and I'm older. That's reality, folks! Is having another child the greatest gift in the world? YES! Would I trade it for anything? NO! Would I go through this again? In a heartbeat! That doesn't mean my struggles to love my mind and body go away. That doesn't mean I should just automatically feel like celebrating these stretch marks, loose skin and added pounds. Especially, given my profession as a style blogger, it's incredibly hard to stand in front of a camera time after time posing myself in looser clothing to hide the muffin top.

But the voices around me sometimes pile on guilt for having this frustration and dissatisfaction with my physical state. I hear, "How dare you complain for a second about these changes when you have the gift of children when so many women don't?! How can you complain when you have all of your limbs, a working heart, no cancer?..."

Thankfulness for my children and body is so evident in my words and actions, but knowing that I have the potential to feel and be better than I currently feel haunts me every time I look in the mirror and see a tired face, weak, and out of shape.

It's a process and it takes time. That's what I remember about my last pregnancy and that's what I have to constantly say to myself this time around. "Be patient with yourself, Alex. You will feel like yourself once again." I can't really rush it as much as I want to. Some of it isn't even in my control. Levi is still having a hard time kicking the 4am feeding, but I know he will eventually get there and that this is only a season. In fact, I'm now 142 pounds and a size 10 two months later. Change has been made, and though I feel weaker than ever due to some complications with my thyroid, it's an encouragement to me that progress is there. 

So, to all of you mamas who might be in the same place or even ten years postpartum, it is possible for us to feel the best versions of ourselves. If there is a normal reason for dissatisfaction with our bodies that is in our control and within healthy expectations, let's remind ourselves that progress is possible even if it comes slowly. Just be patient with yourself. 

If you are someone that is dealing with unrealistic levels of dissatisfaction and trying to control your body in unhealthy ways, please seek help with a counselor. I'm more than happy to recommend some if you live in Arizona. 

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

LEVI'S NURSERY REVEAL

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Levi is officially six months old today. I can't believe it! Time has gone by so quickly. In honor of his half birthday, I am revealing his nursery design done by Oilo Studio. It's the most beautiful and cozy space I think I have ever been in. I love everything about it, and I'm so thankful that I can give this experience to my son.

When we moved in, the original space was painted lime green, had an outdated ceiling fan and window coverings that didn't do much to block out light. We repainted the walls Westhighland White and then painted an accent wall Anchors Aweigh blue provided by Sherwin-Williams. We selected a flat finish and used their low VOC Emerald line. The paint alone was transformational.

To dress up the windows and create more darkness, we hung a gold curtain rod with white sheer curtains from Bed, Bath and Beyond. The window actually has a slight arch to it, so Annalisa Thomas from Oilo had the genius idea of covering the arch with a wooden roman shade to make the window appear rectangular and create clean lines.

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The rug from Lulu & Georgia was the anchoring factor for the room and the inspiration behind the color palette. I wanted something masculine-feeling, and liked the idea of mixing mid-century modern design with traditional elements. (To see a contrasting girl room, check out Elle's big girl room reveal). The round gold mirror makes such a statement too, and is another traditional element that complements the rug. When I pick Levi up after a nap and look at the pair of us in the mirror he always smiles at himself, and, of course, I smile and then want to freeze time forever. Having a mirror in a nursery is not only beautiful, but fun for baby too. Just make sure to secure really, really well and move the crib away from the wall.

The mid-century elements that are in the space are the side table, planter, gray wingback chair, bubble chandelier and credenza. Every single item is so cool and beautiful I would put it in any space in my home. The chair is perfect for me to read stories to both Levi and Elle. Elle particularly loves to take the stool over to Levi's crib so she can talk to him after he wakes up from his nap. It's the cutest!

Having a side table right next to the chair to set his bottles down on after a feeding or set books on after we've finished reading them it very convenient. When I was nursing I was always looking for a place to set my water on or my breast pump on. I highly recommend investing in a comfortable chair and a side table to go with it. The chair and table are both from Joss & Main.

Annalisa found the coolest chandelier on ShopCandleabra.com. Even though ceiling fans are nice to have they aren't the prettiest. I've taken most of them out of every room in our house and just added a high powered floor fan. My husband wasn't a fan initially, but once he saw the impact of a light fixture and how it elevates a space he became a believer. 

The white crib and the mid-century modern credenza were pieces I had from Elle's nursery. I'm so glad that they worked with this space too. Oilo Studio makes gorgeous, quality bedding for cribs. I have had my eye on this gray and white Zara pattern crib set for a while, and it was such a nice pairing with navy and the traditional pattern in the rug. I wouldn't have put all of these textures and patterns on my own. It really shows you what a designer can do for you. I always end up making things very matchy, matchy.

Living in Arizona, we have cacti all around us. The desert landscape is so beautiful, and I'm so proud to have both of my children be native Arizonans. Annalisa found artwork of a saguaro cactus and prickly pear cactus by WilderCalifornia to breathe Arizona into the space. 

I really wanted to have real cacti in the room as well, but they are obviously dangerous for children. Instead, I found these modern, brass hanging planters and put tiny little cacti in them. I also planted a fuzzy cactus in a small pot and placed it at the top of Levi's bookshelf. Modernica makes high quality, modern planters, and I was able to find a needless cactus to keep beside his crib. It looks perfect with the modern planter. Fiddled fig trees are all over Pinterest, but I don't have a green thumb. Cacti is as close as I get. I was able to find a faux fig tree at Home Goods, and then I placed it in a woven basket, which I also found at Home Goods.

Of course, there has to be some kid elements in the space. The Land of Nod has some of the cutest trinkets and toys for kids. I love this hippo, these gradient blocks, and these soft blocks so much I wanted to display them as much as have Levi play with them. This gold music ball from Design Life Kids was a modern take on a classic childhood toy. I displayed them all on this unique modern bookshelf from Joss & Main. You can style it a million different ways, but I have kept it pretty minimal for now. Elle is hoarding all of the baby books in her room right now. haha.

It's such a joy to walk into this room every day whether it's to change a diaper, feed him at 2am or play with him on the floor. I don't take these luxuries lightly, and I know how much even having a dedicated room for a baby is is a luxury in and of itself. I can't thank Oilo Studio enough for all of your hard work and vision. If you're interested in learning more about the design process for Levi's nursery, be sure to check out Oilo's blog.