CELEBRATE YOURSELF
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After running a couple of errands today, I popped into a boutique to snag a gift for my mom for Mother’s Day. Minutes later, I had found something (ironically, the store is called FOUND), and then I meandered through the shop with a whisper of a thought, “Why don’t you celebrate yourself too?” Following that, I remembered feelings of jealousy of the other moms being celebrated by their partners, feelings of anger surrounding how motherhood has changed with divorce, shame telling me I should just be thankful I get to be a mom no matter the circumstances, desires for my community to celebrate, and then shame for putting that responsibility of celebration on anyone at all for a made-up holiday🤪...I obviously was triggered anticipating Mother’s Day, headed toward a pity party in a pit, and at the core of it all was a valid longing for celebration.
A sales lady walked up to me asking if I wanted to buy the candle I was holding in my hand. I told her I’m considering gifting it to myself this Mother’s Day. She quickly followed, “Yeah, girl, pick out what you want instead of hoping he knows what you want.” “I’m actually a single parent, and I thought that maybe this year I would celebrate myself instead of wishing someone else does it,” I said. She paused and said, “That’s exactly what you should do! I was a single mom for 11 years, and it was really hard. For the first five years, I wished to be celebrated, and when other people tried, it never felt right or satisfied me. I realized I needed to do it for myself on Mother’s Day and all the days of motherhood because only I know all of the wins and losses. You are the best person to celebrate YOU, and when someone else does celebrate you, it’ll be a bonus.” I thanked her for her wisdom, I bought the candle, and I found more than I bargained for at that store.
I am SO grateful for the blessing of motherhood, but even four years later, as strong as I am and as capable as I am, it’s still hard doing it alone, especially this month. So, I want to remind the fellow single moms out there that feel unseen on this upcoming holiday that we need to learn to celebrate ourselves, especially in the hard seasons. And remember, you can be grateful for your kids and still desire to celebrate and acknowledge your accomplishments as a mother. You are not selfish. You are human. You are doing one of the hardest, beautiful things in this life...loving your children unconditionally. 💛 Share this with a single mom that needs to hear this today.
