REAL TALK REAL MOMS: CHILDCARE

Finding good childcare has surprisingly been one the biggest challenges in parenting for me. You obviously don't just want to leave your kids with anyone, but finding the right person to trust is hard. It takes risk, investment and time to make it work. The Real Mom series is back as we get into the nitty gritty of what has worked for us and what hasn't with hired help. Be sure to the other real mamas' perspectives: The Effortless Chic; Sacramento Street; The Life Styled; Freutcake; Hey Mama Co; A Daily Something; Thoughts by Natalie; The Sweetest Occasion; Sarah Sherman Samuel. 
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We have gone through four babysitters all of whom our kids have adored, fallen in love with and have moved on (with the exception of occasional night or two). I didn't realize how hard it would be to not just find someone amazing, but keep someone amazing. I think the worst part of the whole childcare process has been having to break it to my kids that their babysitter isn't coming back. 

What I have learned is that most qualified sitters or nannies are looking for something full-time. Often they will take the work they can get, but I've never been in a place that I could afford full-time care nor do I want that for this season of motherhood. So, it's understandable that they have needed to move on, but heartbreaking nonetheless.

Thankfully, most of our sitters have been able to babysit for us here and there when we are in need for a date night, but I was still left with a problem of how to find consistent childcare?

Preschool for both kids came sooner than we thought. I didn't plan on putting Levi in school at one years old, especially with his health ups and downs, but I needed to know that someone wasn't going to cancel on me last minute or quit all together for the sake of my job and my sanity. I felt so guilty about it because it wasn't what I had planned, and I had it in my mind that being home was the best thing for my kids. To my surprise, it ended up being the best decision I have ever made. 

Elle is a social butterfly and thrives in a school environment. This was not a surprise to me, and it sure gave me a peace about placing her in school. She needed to be challenged and she needed the socialization. We found a small Christian preschool not too far away that was recommended by kindergarten teachers in our area, and she goes five mornings a week.

For Levi, it was a bit harder to find a school that would take him at 1 years old, but we found another small Christian school up the road that takes such great care of him. Levi doesn't talk very much, but he has started to talk more since being around other kids. One thing that I have particularly noticed is that he is able to sit at a table nicely and eat his food, he puts his toys away when you ask him and he can sit criss cross applesauce on the floor while listening to a story. These are all things that Elle struggled with when we transitioned her to preschool at three years old. I must say that having a one year old with good manners is AMAZING!

I pick them both up at 11:30. We come home and have lunch and nap/quiet time and have the rest of the day together. It's perfect. I have also preferred school because I'm able to work from home instead of a coffee shop. Taking conference calls in your car is annoying to say the least.

If you're a mom like me that feels guilty about putting your kids in daycare, don't be. In many ways it can offer better learning experiences than keeping them home with a sitter. 

I will also say that the BEST babysitter we have EVER had came from a local nanny agency. We told the agency what we were looking for and they prescreened and interviewed candidates for us. They submitted five to us, and the very first one we met, we loved. We were given her driving record, her CPR certification and a resume. We also had a two month trial period. The agency charged us a percentage of her monthly earnings, and that's it. After the trial period was over we were able to work with our nanny on our own terms. Though we couldn't keep her after a couple months due to her needing more hours, it was SUCH a great experience and now she babysits for us for date nights and other things. She has become a part of our family, and the kids see her at least once a week. So, if you are looking for a nanny try an agency and save yourself the hassle of care.com or calling all of your friends for recommendations.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

REAL TALK REAL MOMS: FRIENDSHIPS

Friendships have always equated to family, especially being an only child. It felt like I had so many sisters growing up. We celebrated holidays together, traveled together and shared our lives together. However, since getting married and becoming a mom, the rank friendships once held has diminished, and rightfully so. My husband and my kids come first, but friendships are still a very necessary part of my life. How to balance them, on the other hand, has become tricky. So, in this installment of the Real Mom Series we are talking about how we maintain friendships. Please be sure to read stories from other moms: Apartment 34, The Effortless Chic, The Refined Woman, The Sweetest Occassion

When Elle was born I didn't find it very hard to maintain my friendships. They still took a big chunk of my time, and I was happy to give them the time they deserved. Elle was such an easy baby that she went everywhere with me - to shopping dates, to dinners, to work events...So, it was easy to catch up with friends and stay in their lives. However, when Levi came all of that shifted. Two kids is a lot more work, and, consequently, a lot less spare time for friends. It has taken more intentionality on my part to be a good friend. And truthfully, a lot of them have fallen apart because of it because I just couldn't maintain them all in the way that I wanted to. 

I had to grieve that expectation for myself and my friends. I came to a point of realization that I couldn't have as many friends, and that I the friends that I kept close were the few that I could go deep with. I didn't necessarily just drop people or weed them out. Naturally, I just saw the ones that felt easy and natural. So, proximity plays a big roll, as well as initiation on both parts. 

I have about four good friends that I share with regularly through meet ups, texts and phone calls, and that's about it. And the qualities that I love most about these women are: honesty, a desire to be better, grace for mistakes, and a lot of laughter.

We don't travel together or celebrate holidays together, and they surely don't come before my guy or my kids, but we do share our lives together still. It's just through a lot of intentional conversation, and I've realized that's enough. 

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

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STEPS TO CONTROL ALLERGENS

We finally found some answers as to why Levi has been sick so much during his first year and a half of life. After taking foods out of his diet, getting tubes in his ears, keeping him away from public places and seeing a ton of specialists we still had no answers until a couple of weeks ago when we visited an immunologist for the first time. 

Dr. Bauer, who is also an allergist as well an immunologist, did some allergy tests and we learned that Levi is very allergic to cats, dogs, dust and cockroaches. Surprisingly, he doesn't have any food allergies to date.

And interestingly enough, our house that we moved into just before he was born used to have cats in it. We also have a golden-doodle, and with our house being so large I can' say I'm always up-to-date on keeping the dust-mites at bay. I'm not really sure how the cockroaches come into play considering we are very cleanly and have never seen one here, but I guess they must be outside in the grass. So, it turns out that the reason why he kept getting infection after infection was because there was always mucus in his sinuses as a result of the allergies. His little immune system was also taxed by constantly producing anti-histamines. Poor guy!

Our doctor advised us to make some big changes inside our home, and they have helped tremendously. Levi isn't scratching his nose all of the time and finally doesn't sound stuffy. He also hasn't been sick in three weeks, which is huge for us. So, here's what we think is helping:

1. Air Purifier with a Hepa Filter - We were told to put a air purifier in his room that has a hepa filter, and to keep it running all of the time. This will filter out the dust in the air that he's allergic to. She also recommended that we keep the door closed at all times to prevent additional dust from getting into his room. So far we like the GermGuardian a lot. It has a blue nightlight too that you can use.

2. Vacuum with a Hepa Filter & vacuum weekly - We had been using a 10 year old vacuum, and we were only vacuuming about once a month upstairs. We're very tidy people, and I never saw any dust anywhere. I had no idea how much dust could collect in our low grade carpet until we bought a new vacuum. We purchased the Shark Navigator after reading a ton of reviews, and the amount of dust you pick up every time you run it is insane. I guess that's what you get for living in Arizona.

3. Daily Children's Zyrtec - Though I don't love having to give Levi meds every day Zyrtec has helped tremendously. Long-term studies have also been done and show no side-effects to using it. Plus, there are no proven natural remedies for animal allergies at this time. Eventually, when he is 4 years old he can start to get allergy shots, but for now he doesn't mind taking a 1/4 tsp daily.

4. Daily nasal spray - Nasacort is a non-steroid nasal spray that just helps to keep the mucus away, and combined with the Zyrtec his nose is staying clear. 

5. No dairy - Dairy gives him bad eczema and also causes mucus to form. 

6. No stuffed animals in his room - They are huge dust collectors, so we have banned them from his room. 

7. Change his clothes before nap time and bedtime - Germs and allergens can cling to fabric. To be extra cautious we change his clothes before nap and bedtime. 

8. Daily baths - We were only bathing Levi every other day because of his eczema, but the doctor recommended daily baths with warm water to wash away the dust and germs. We only use soap on the dirty areas and we don't wash his hair every time. We have been applying Vanicream twice daily and it seems to keep the eczema under control. 

9. Got rid of our dog - Wendy has been a part of our family for seven years. I can't tell you how heartbreaking it has been to live life without her. We are doing a two month trial with our in-laws, and then we are going to try to bring her back after Levi has shown improvement over the long-haul. I'm hoping it's not forever, but I'll keep you posted.

10. Eliminated some rugs - We removed the rug the kids play on every day. We have a ton of area rugs in our house, which can be huge dust collectors. If needed, we will start eliminating more, but hopefully, we don't have to have bare floors throughout the whole house to keep his allergies under control.

So far so good. He hasn't been sick in three weeks and he is the happiest I have ever seen him. His nose is clear and he isn't scratching his face constantly. I can't tell you what a relief this has been to me. It makes me teary-eyed thinking about it. If you have children with constant ear, sinus and throat infection I highly encourage you to seek an immunologist in your area. 

I AM HIS

I'm not much of an impulsive shopper, especially when it comes to buying clothes online. But, when I saw this shirt on Anthropologie.com the other day I snapped it up in 5 seconds flat. I may have even said, "I gotta have this," out loud. I wanted it that badly.

Though Levi can't read, and could care less at the mere age of 16 months old that I'm wearing a shirt that say his name on it, I feel so proud wearing it for him. It's a declaration to the world, "I AM HIS." Yep, I will forever be his mama and no one will ever take that away. Even if, heaven forbid, he passes away unexpectedly I will remain his mom until the day I die. I know that sounds so morbid, but I find so much comfort in knowing that being Levi's mom can never be stripped away from me. It's a role that will forever bond me to him by blood.

There are very few things that are certain in this life, but we like to think that many things are constants. Things like being able to use our mouths to speak, our minds to reason or being a wife are not givens. But being a mom - once that baby is made - can never leave me. Even if you have given your baby up for adoption, lost a child or have years of totally sucking at being a mom - you're a mom. You are their one and only forever.

I know this all may sound so silly because it's just a darn t-shirt, but, if there's is another certainty that I know of in this life, it's that hard times will come - it's just a matter of when. So, as cheesy as it may be to wear a Levi's t-shirt for our mom-son dates while I watch him eat a Girl Scout cookie and splash in a fountain, I don't care one bit. I'm just going to treasure these little things in my heart for the hard times that will come, so that I can pull out this joyful memory when I need to. I am his, and he is mine.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer; this post contains affiliate links.

REAL TALK REAL MOMS: FAVORITE BOOKS

The Real Mom Series is back as we share some of our favorite books that we love reading to our kids. Be sure to read the book lists from the others moms: The Refined Woman, Sacramento Street, The Life Styled; Apartment 34; Smitten Studio; The Effortless Chic; Freutcake

We read stories every night as part of our bedtime routine. Elle loves picking the book out, and more often than not she chooses the same one over and over again until she finds a new favorite. For Levi, we have been reading a lot of books with animal sounds and colors. He's starting to talk more and more, and his participation with pointing at familiar objects or animals has been really fun.

I don't think there has been a book that we have read that we didn't like, but I've listed some of the our favorites over the past four years and why. I hope you like them too, and I would love any suggestions you may have on some others we should read.

Moo, Baa, La La La - Both of my kids have loved this book as one year olds. They learn the animal sounds so quickly with this book. Elle has it memorized to this day and she is four now. 
Pantone: Colors - This is one of those books that you want to display on your kid's bookshelf, but at the same time does a great job helping kids learn their colors. Elle still loves to look at it even though she has known her color for a long time now. Levi is just starting to get into it.
First 100 Trucks and Things That Go - Levi loves cars, trucks, planes and any machine that goes. This picture book of 100 trucks is a favorite of his right now. He just points at every truck he really likes and makes a vroom sound. His attention span is pretty short as a 16 month old, but this book does a great job keeping it.
What Should I Wear Huggle Buggle Bear - This is a favorite because the author writes the book so that the reader has to help find the clothing that he is missing in the picture. Elle has memorized what he is missing by now, but she still loves reading it.
Cupcake - I can't say that I was super excited to read this book when I saw it, but Elle loves cupcakes and the illustrations. She has memorized every page, and now she "reads" it to us, which is a fun and new dynamic.
You Are Special - I fell in love with this book before I even had kids. It was the first book that I ever purchased when I was pregnant with Elle. It teaches kids to know that they are special regardless of their achievements, but because God has made them.
Rose Revere, Engineer- It's a great book that puts a female character in a traditional male role in society. It also talks about how women played a big part during WWII by helping with engineering and manufacturing. 

Photos by Rennai Hoefer; this post contains affiliate links.