January 31, 2016

ELLE'S NEW ROOM

January 31, 2016/ Alexandra Evjen

When we moved into our new home last August I was 8 months pregnant with Levi and exhausted. The last thing I could think about what decorating a house, but I knew that making a special space for Elle was a priority. After all, she was going through just as many big changes as we were and trying to comprehend it all at the age of 3. She would talk about her "old house" and sometimes cry saying how much she missed her polkadots (I would start crying too). Her old room had rose gold dots on the wall, and it was her comforting, safe-have. It was all she had known up until now and it was gone, so I knew I needed to find some time and energy to make a cool, new place for her to love.

Elle said she wanted her room to be pink, so we compromised with pink, black and white. I love girly things, but used my editing eye to balance the feminine color with timeless black and white. I took to Pinterest, and I started pinning all sorts of inspiration. You can check out the full Pinterest board here: http://www.pinterest.com/alexandraevjen/girl-room-w-land-of-nod/

One of the first things we did was upgrade her to a daybed from her toddler bed because Levi would soon need the crib. I chose a white IKEA day bed that turns into a two person sleeper in the anticipation of slumber parties. With a pink ruffled duvet cover and a ton of throw pillows it became the perfect mix of girly and modern. We painted half her wall black similar to a wall we had in our old house. I toyed with the idea of the other half being gold, but I couldn't find gold interior paint that I liked.

Land of Nod was our one stop shop for all of the bedding and curtains. I couldn't resist the gold geometric lamp and the striped rug either.

She had an IKEA bookshelf in her old nursery, and we painted the back of it black to help tie everything together. He brother has most of the baby books now, but I know over the years her book collection will grow and maybe we'll even start to see Seventeen Magazine on the shelves.

Some items that I included in her room that were Pinterest inspired were a woven wallhanging, a steer skull and a gallery wall. I also couldn't resist putting in a cool pendant light instead of a ceiling fan. I found this one on Wayfair for $219. You can always just put a portable fan in the room for hot nights, right? =)

Now that the room is complete Elle doesn't mention her polkadots anymore. Instead, she jumps off her big girl bed, reads stories under the covers and sleeps soundly in her new house. I love being in her room almost as much as she does. Thanks, Land of Nod, for making great products for parents and kids to enjoy!

Photos by Rennai Hoefer.

January 15, 2016

WORKING & CHILDCARE

January 15, 2016/ Alexandra Evjen

I'm so glad that you have been enjoying this series, "Real Talk with Real Moms." These honest conversations need to happen in the blogging community to share the reality of the challenges we face as business owners, moms, wives and friends. Sometimes our perfect pictures can give the impression of a perfect life, and we want to make sure you guys know we are trying to figure out this mom thing just as much as the next person. Today, we're continuing the conversation with childcare and work...

AVE Styles existed before I became a mom, but when Elle came along I knew I needed to put her before my work. Motherhood is a very important job, and I take it very seriously. This is a decision I make every day, especially now that I have Levi as well.

When Elle was under a year old I designated sleeping time as the only time I would work. Occasionally there were times when I would bring her to photo shoots, but when she turned six months old I started shooting only on weekends when Ryan could watch her. There would be an exception here and there, but it was rare. One thing was certain, I was going to do my very best to be present when she was around and give her my undivided attention.

As she grew and my business grew I ended up having my good friend's mom watch her two full days a week. I made this decision so that I could give my full attention to work, and then my full attention to Elle when I got home. The rest of my week was just us.

Fast forward to having two kiddos, it's just not that simple anymore. My attention is divided between two kids now and my business has grown even more. Something has to give somewhere and it's not going to be my health, my marriage or my kids. My husband and I both feel that the work I am doing is a needed financial contribution to our family, and without getting too spiritual on ya, that I'm meant to continue this career path for now.

Elle turned 3 this year so she was ready for preschool when Levi was born, and she has been thriving having social interaction with friends. That has left with me one one one time with Levi two mornings a week, which I treasure so much. I was really starting to wonder when we would have that time together.

But with nap times not always synching and evenings needed for my marriage, I'm left without any time for AVE Styles. So, this year we made the choice to have someone help us for 9 hours a week in our home. Three mornings a week for three hour chunks so I can do the work I need to do to keep AVE Styles growing. I also hired an assistant to handle several writing projects and miscellaneous things, so that I can focus on the blog, my Pinterest classes and my clients.

I will tell you that I have never been more efficient with time in my life. I have never been more protective of such a limited resource, and I have never been more thankful that I can continue having my kids home with me for the majority of their weeks.

My advice to any man or woman managing a business from home is to set specific work hours so that you can be fully present with your kids. If your income is needed to continue working outside the home or what you do is rejuvenating to you so that you can be a better parent, I am in full support of you. Just give your kids 100% when you are with them so that they know that they come before your job. Put the computer down and go play because they deserve it. Not everyone is in the same situation and sometimes there are seasons when you are going to have greater workloads, but just don't stay in a place where you can't give your child quality time when you get home from work.

Hear from other bloggers on their decisions to introduce childcare and how they balance their businesses. I love that everyone does life differently with the end goal of being the best person and mother they can be.

To see past posts in this series, check out my experience with sleep, travel and feeding.

Jen Pinkston, The Effortless Chic
Caitlin Flemming, Sacramento Street
Hilary Walker, Out Style Stories
Rebecca Gallop, A Daily Something
Em Scott, Em the Gem
Sarah Sherman Samuel, Smitten Studio
Samantha Wennerstrom, Could I Have That
Amy Anderson, Parker, etc.
Erin Heimstra, Apartment 34

Photos by Rennai Hoefer and Gina Meola

December 13, 2015

STOCKING STUFFERS FOR TEENS

December 13, 2015/ Alexandra Evjen

Teens are fun to shop for, but finding them the perfect gift can be a hard feat. Nowadays it seems like teens are constantly moving on to the next trend and there's so many options out there it can be overwhelming. I've found that you can't go wrong with a grouping of little stocking stuffer type gifts. Here are a few ideas:

Marble Power Bank

Roll-On Perfume

Daisy Contacy Lens Case

Gold Initial Bar Necklace

Packable Tote Bag

#Flawless Air Freshener

You may have noticed that a lot of these gifts can be found on Ankit.com. Ankit is an amazing site I discovered recently and sells the cutest accessories and tech goodies. Shop with them online before December 31st and use the code AVESTYLES15 for 15% off your purchase!

November 16, 2015

FAILING AT BREASTFEEDING

November 16, 2015/ Alexandra Evjen

Sometimes things just don't work out like you had hoped not matter how much you pray or how badly you want it.

Even with a second chance at breastfeeding I'm left with the same outcome - my body is just not able to produce enough for what he needs. It has been two months since I had Levi, and for two months he has been so hungry. He was gaining weight just fine at the beginning, but I didn't realize that nursing every hour to every two hours when they are two months old isn't normal. I finally started pumping and realized I was only making one to two ounces. At this point he needs about three to four ounces per feeding, so I would definitely say he was hungry.

I finally gave him a bottle of formula and he scarfed it down like he had never had milk in his life. It was so sad and I cried. I felt like a terrible mother for not knowing how hungry he was. I felt like a terrible mother for not being able to exclusively breastfeed. I was just overwhelmed with sadness and guilt.

The thing is that I've been in the place before and I promised myself I wouldn't put my heart through it again. I promised myself that no matter what I was going to do what needed to be done, and if that meant formula that's okay. It's just knowing the breastmilk is the healthiest thing for my child and not being able to give it to him KILLS me.

I feel embarrassed every time I pull out a bottle in public and instantly my mind is filled with a bunch of excuses of why I can't breastfeed so that I can defend myself to random strangers. So dumb, right? Have you been here too? At my church there is a "nursing room," so does that mean I can bring a bottle in there or not. Why can't it just be called a mother's room?

But you know what?! Levi is so, so happy. He is babbling all of the time and he is sleeping so much better. And you know what else, I'm still breast feeding for five to ten minutes to give him that tiny ounce to two ounces that I have, and at least it's something. But even if I didn't have that I'm just happy I have a healthy baby, and I'm so thankful that I have formula. Imagining my child starving and failing to thrive because my body can't do its job right is a horrifying thought.

I'll spare you all of the visits with my lactation consultant and the triple feeding and the herbs, etc. I did it and it didn't work and who cares, right?! At the end of the day I am at peace with knowing that I'm being the best mother I can be. That's all we mothers can do, and I need to remember that every day. Perfection is not something to desire as a parent. Peace is, and that's what I have today. And that's perfect.

October 25, 2015

NURSING FRIENDLY OUTFIT

October 25, 2015/ Alexandra Evjen

When you get pregnant you have to buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate your growing bump, and after you have the baby you have to do the same except this time you don't want to look pregnant. Post-partum fashion is HAARD.

Your breasts are larger because your nursing, so you need new bras. You can only wear tops and dresses that allow you to access your breasts easily to breastfeed. Your stomach is slowly going down, but you can't fit into your old jeans right away and your maternity jeans are too big. So what in the heck do you wear?! I'm a former stylist and I'm asking myself the same question.

I've solved your problem. You wear a daily uniform of nursing bras, shirt dresses and leggings. BINGO! It's chic and easy because in all honesty in NEED easy in my life right now.