I DON'T WANT TO WEAR SHAPEWEAR

Back in August, I shared a vulnerable update on what my body looked like almost one year after having Levi. Today, I'm sharing with you unedited pictures of that same body in a one piece. It's scary for me for some reason, but it really shouldn't be. This is me. This is my body. It's beautiful, but I also don't feel strong and I want to tone up the jiggle. I don't want to have to wear Spanx or one pieces to feel confident.

Prior to my pregnancy with Levi I was in the best shape of my life. I worked out at the gym three times a week, wore a size 2/4 and felt stronger than I ever had. So, knowing my body has the potential to not have a lot of jiggle and to FEEL strong made me want to get back into shape. 

I had resolved many times throughout my post-partum season to get to my butt to the gym. Well, as some of you know, we battled a lot of health issues for Levi at the time and getting to the gym was a struggle. I couldn't take him with me, and waking up at the wee hours of the morning or doing it at night was taken up by work since I had to take off so many days. 

Fast forward to now...I am 18 months post-partum and my body hasn't changed one bit. I'm still wearing size 6 pants and my tummy and arms jiggle like jello. I don't weigh much at all. I'm only one 130, but I don't feel strong and I still have to wear spanx smooth my lumps under dresses. I hate that!

I don't want to have to wear hot, sweaty, beige underwear to make my body look better. I want to naturally do it myself by toning up and getting in shape. So, for the past six days and for the rest of this month I have committed myself to Core Body Pilates. (You may have already seen posts about it on my Instagram stories). It is said that after 10 times you'll feel different and after 20 times you'll see results. Well, I'll tell you what...After only six times I'm seeing results and I'm feeling stronger. 

More about what I've learned in pilates soon, but for now, you can join me on Instagram to see daily updates on my progress. 

EASTER OUTFITS

This post is sponsored by Carter's; however, all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

Getting dressed up for Easter is a tradition I love, and the hunt for the perfect Easter outfit is almost as good as hunting for Easter eggs because I can find everything I need at Carter's. They always have adorable selection of Easter outfits for boys and girls from infants to big kids. I had the pleasure of teaming of up Carter's to show you how I'm dressing Elle and Levi for the most meaningful holiday to our family and be sure to grab the coupon below for amazing savings for your family.

Easter is the most meaningful holiday to us because of our Christian faith. It's the foundation on which our belief stands, so we love to dress up for Sunday church and then, like many families, have a big brunch afterwards with ham, scalloped corn and all of the fixins. Of course, there is a big easter egg hunt for the kids too.

It's pretty hot in Arizona by the time Easter rolls around, so shorts and sleeveless dresses are what I look for. A simple pastel pink button up shirt and seersucker shorts with chambray chukkas is what I selected for Levi. It's festive and dressy, but he can run and be a kid in this outfit. This year will be especially fun because Levi will get to join in on the Easter egg hunt now that he's walking and talking.

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Now that Elle is four and a half she loves being a part of the Easter dress shopping process. When we visited our local Carter's store she loved every dress, but this white floral one caught her eye because of the twirl factor. It has a full skirt and a bow in the back, and those details won my girly, girl's heart. For shoes, I selected polkadot mary-janes with a rubber sole that are perfect for Easter as well as any other day at school. They allow her to run and be a kid without blisters or slipping. 

Our Easter wardrobe is complete thanks to Carter's. If you shop online or in their stores before April 9, 2017 you can earn 25% off your purchase of $40 or more with the coupon below and take care of your Easter shopping in one swoop. 

Have a wonderful Easter from our family to yours! Hoppy shopping! (wink)

Carter's partners with bloggers like me to help promote their spring baby fashion. As part of their program, I received products or gift cards. Carter's believes consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Carter's provided me with information on promotions and messaging concepts, but did not tell me what to purchase, what to write in my blog or what to say about the products I used.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

REAL TALK REAL MOMS: CHILDCARE

Finding good childcare has surprisingly been one the biggest challenges in parenting for me. You obviously don't just want to leave your kids with anyone, but finding the right person to trust is hard. It takes risk, investment and time to make it work. The Real Mom series is back as we get into the nitty gritty of what has worked for us and what hasn't with hired help. Be sure to the other real mamas' perspectives: The Effortless Chic; Sacramento Street; The Life Styled; FreutcakeHey Mama Co; A Daily Something; Thoughts by Natalie; The Sweetest Occasion; Sarah Sherman Samuel
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We have gone through four babysitters all of whom our kids have adored, fallen in love with and have moved on (with the exception of occasional night or two). I didn't realize how hard it would be to not just find someone amazing, but keep someone amazing. I think the worst part of the whole childcare process has been having to break it to my kids that their babysitter isn't coming back. 

What I have learned is that most qualified sitters or nannies are looking for something full-time. Often they will take the work they can get, but I've never been in a place that I could afford full-time care nor do I want that for this season of motherhood. So, it's understandable that they have needed to move on, but heartbreaking nonetheless.

Thankfully, most of our sitters have been able to babysit for us here and there when we are in need for a date night, but I was still left with a problem of how to find consistent childcare?

Preschool for both kids came sooner than we thought. I didn't plan on putting Levi in school at one years old, especially with his health ups and downs, but I needed to know that someone wasn't going to cancel on me last minute or quit all together for the sake of my job and my sanity. I felt so guilty about it because it wasn't what I had planned, and I had it in my mind that being home was the best thing for my kids. To my surprise, it ended up being the best decision I have ever made. 

Elle is a social butterfly and thrives in a school environment. This was not a surprise to me, and it sure gave me a peace about placing her in school. She needed to be challenged and she needed the socialization. We found a small Christian preschool not too far away that was recommended by kindergarten teachers in our area, and she goes five mornings a week.

For Levi, it was a bit harder to find a school that would take him at 1 years old, but we found another small Christian school up the road that takes such great care of him. Levi doesn't talk very much, but he has started to talk more since being around other kids. One thing that I have particularly noticed is that he is able to sit at a table nicely and eat his food, he puts his toys away when you ask him and he can sit criss cross applesauce on the floor while listening to a story. These are all things that Elle struggled with when we transitioned her to preschool at three years old. I must say that having a one year old with good manners is AMAZING!

I pick them both up at 11:30. We come home and have lunch and nap/quiet time and have the rest of the day together. It's perfect. I have also preferred school because I'm able to work from home instead of a coffee shop. Taking conference calls in your car is annoying to say the least.

If you're a mom like me that feels guilty about putting your kids in daycare, don't be. In many ways it can offer better learning experiences than keeping them home with a sitter. 

I will also say that the BEST babysitter we have EVER had came from a local nanny agency. We told the agency what we were looking for and they prescreened and interviewed candidates for us. They submitted five to us, and the very first one we met, we loved. We were given her driving record, her CPR certification and a resume. We also had a two month trial period. The agency charged us a percentage of her monthly earnings, and that's it. After the trial period was over we were able to work with our nanny on our own terms. Though we couldn't keep her after a couple months due to her needing more hours, it was SUCH a great experience and now she babysits for us for date nights and other things. She has become a part of our family, and the kids see her at least once a week. So, if you are looking for a nanny try an agency and save yourself the hassle of care.com or calling all of your friends for recommendations.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

HOW TO BE AUTHENTIC IN ONE STEP

Why is authenticity hard for people? Why has it become a buzz word and the new marketing avenue? And why when people try to be authentic you can still spot the disingenuousness like it's a knock off designer bag. Why are the legit ones hard to spot?  These are questions that I have been mulling over lately. And what I have discovered is that the reason why it's hard for some and not for others comes down to  one thing. FEAR - being fearful of losing something or being rejected. For me, I would rather lose popularity, clicks, money, etc. than lose myself but this hasn't always been the case.

For most of my life I lived on the side of the coin as a person that was just there - unnoticed, flying under the radar, not bad, not good, not smart, not dumb, not drop-dead gorgeous, not ugly, not super talented, not popular, not a loner - just there. And then the coin flipped over night. I became popular, I became seen, I became prettier (got rid of acne, lost weight, did my hair and learned how to do makeup), I found my talents and I finally had things I never had before - I finally had things to lose that I didn't want to lose. And I felt that fear of rejection and loss start to direct my choices, my business, my relationships and I hated it like it was a plague taking over my body. And I dropped it like a bad habit because I felt so uncomfortable. And that's why I have positioned my blog to an authentic story-telling place about style, home and motherhood. And so the answer to why being authentic is hard and why people want it badly is clear...When the fear of losing acceptance, approval, relationships and money becomes greater than the fear of losing yourself you will find your actions, business and relationships disingenuous. And when you find someone that is ready to lose it all at any moment for the sake of being true to themselves you find authenticity.

It's rare to find online because there is an immediate reaction to every picture and word (like or dislike; follow or unfollow). We experience loss immediately and it's scary is f*** because that equates, for some, to mortgages and food for their family.

And I don't say I'm good now at being authentic to toot my own horn, but it was the craving for the freedom to be authentic online that became so strong over the past year that I was ready to lose it all. So I started doing it more, and thanks to YOU I have been able to be transparent, be accepted and maintain a voice. You have shown me that people will still show up and listen even if they disagree, are tired of hearing your kid is sick, and you don't have cool hair braid tutorials. Thank you!

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

LEVI'S NURSERY UPDATE

Levi's Nursery Reveal - AVE Styles

I can't believe Levi is a toddler. Where has the time gone? Recently, Anthropologie and I partnered to update Levi's nursery to a toddler room featuring their adorable toddler bedding. Now that Levi knows animals and can make their sounds he especially love this animal bedding. 

I was really nervous to change a thing because I loved it the way it was, but when we knew we had to get rid of his other rug due to allergies I thought it was a great opportunity to add a bit of boho flair to it similar to our master bedroom.

Black, tan, navy, gray and white are all neutral colors I love and I decided to put them all into one room. I also mixed stripes, polka dots and other patterns along with the animal bedding to create a bohemian feel. 

Levi's favorite part of his updated room is the bunny. It's the softest, cutest stuff animal I have ever felt. It's a great gift for a little one. 

Adding kid elements to such a rich room is important to me. That's why I love this little giraffe planter. That's also why I love his kiddish bedding, and why I added a polka dot pill size pillow.

One of the sweetest things of converting his crib into a toddler bet is that I get to snuggle with him even more. Now to keep him in his bed...

Photography by Rennai Hoefer; this post contains affiliate links. Product was given as payment for images of this room.