CHICKS WHO GIVE A HOOT

My dear friend Sara Chambers, a long time blogger and PR guru, started a podcast called Chicks Who Give a Hoot where she is highlighting women who are activists in their communities and workplaces. It's absolutely brilliant, and I'm so glad she is getting these stories out there with her blog and podcast. 

I had the pleasure of being a guest on her podcast recently, and it was really an "ah-ha" moment for me because she wanted to interview me about how I champion the cause of authenticity in the digital space. I had never thought about it as a cause before nor had I thought about myself as a champion for it, but after chewing on it a bit I realized that it is indeed the foundation on which I have built my business.  To have a cause there must be a problem, and honestly, I identified the fake world of social media and blogging a LOOOONG time ago, and I've always hated it. And even though I suppose always being honest and authentic has always been a big part of who I am by nature, I realize that many people in the digital space don't really know how to take steps away from playing "the game."

It was an amazing conversation that really birthed my recent social media challenge that I shared a couple weeks back (I hope you are taking it with me). Please give the podcast a listen to hear how we really break down activism for the cause, and I would love to know if you're going to help join the cause for authenticity online.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

BEING NICE TO MY HAIR

I haven't been so nice to my hair in years past. In fact, it started breaking off because I had not been careful about how I was taking care of it. Excessive heat, styling and coloring on my fine, dry hair caused my hair to become weak and break so much so that I chopped it off. 

My hair is in a fragile state at the moment, but I'm being mindful of it and treating it kindly. I'm starting to see improvements to the texture and quality in just a short few months too. I thought I would share what I'm doing to keep it healthy and happy. 

1. Weekly hair masques - I alternate between different ones, but I'm mainly focusing on putting moisture back into my hair and strengthening it. I really like these from Aveda (damage remedy, dry remedy and color conserve).

2. Washing it every three days - I've been doing this for a long time now, but I'm being extra mindful to do this for the health of my hair. I don't even brush my hair between washes. I simply apply dry shampoo to my roots to keep the oil at bay and work it into my scalp with my fingers. I usually shake my head upside-down to give it a fluff too.

3. I try only to blow drying my hair and styling it once a week - This has been really hard for me because I love the volume the dryer gives my roots, but for now reducing the amount of heat on my hair will help a lot. When I do blow dry my hair I use a lower heat setting as well, which take a bit longer, but I think it's worth it.

4. Once a week I'm letting it air dry natural curly - Since I'm only using styling tools once a week the other time I wash my hair I just let it air dry. I'm learning how to rock my natural texture. I just apply my curl cream and mousse and let it go. It's kind of liberating to my surprise. 

5. I switched my styling tools to ceramic plates instead of metal - I learned that ceramic plates protect the hair more than metal because that heat more evenly. Metal plats can contain hot spots. There are some metal plates out there that are coated, but if the coating wears off it will damage your hair. This is what happened to me. I recently bought Chi Ceramic 1" straightener and I love it. I also purchased Hot Tools NanoCermaic Tapered Curl Wand and that give my hair a nice bend. 

6. I'm going longer between color appointments - This has been hard since I started sprouting some gray hairs, but lightening your hair definitely can weaken and damage your strands. I'm going with deeper roots and touching up with dry shampoo that is for brown hair. I use Salon Grafix for brunettes. 

7. I'm layering products into my hair to protect it from UV and heat (when I use it) - Styling products add a barrier of protection for your hair and many contain UV protectants too. This will help protect from your color fading, as well as damage. 

8. Getting regular haircuts and maintaining short hair - I've always been the client to shop my hair off and then let it grow for six months. I would just get two cuts a year and call it good. That's the worst idea ever because once those split-ends start they will continue to creep up your strands and break your hair to the root. It's more money and time, but cutting my hair every 8 weeks is going to ensure that split ends stay away.

Photos by Rennai Hoefer; this post contains affiliate links

REAL TALK REAL MOMS: FAVORITE BOOKS

The Real Mom Series is back as we share some of our favorite books that we love reading to our kids. Be sure to read the book lists from the others moms: The Refined Woman, Sacramento Street, The Life Styled; Apartment 34; Smitten Studio; The Effortless Chic; Freutcake

We read stories every night as part of our bedtime routine. Elle loves picking the book out, and more often than not she chooses the same one over and over again until she finds a new favorite. For Levi, we have been reading a lot of books with animal sounds and colors. He's starting to talk more and more, and his participation with pointing at familiar objects or animals has been really fun.

I don't think there has been a book that we have read that we didn't like, but I've listed some of the our favorites over the past four years and why. I hope you like them too, and I would love any suggestions you may have on some others we should read.

Moo, Baa, La La La - Both of my kids have loved this book as one year olds. They learn the animal sounds so quickly with this book. Elle has it memorized to this day and she is four now. 
Pantone: Colors - This is one of those books that you want to display on your kid's bookshelf, but at the same time does a great job helping kids learn their colors. Elle still loves to look at it even though she has known her color for a long time now. Levi is just starting to get into it.
First 100 Trucks and Things That Go - Levi loves cars, trucks, planes and any machine that goes. This picture book of 100 trucks is a favorite of his right now. He just points at every truck he really likes and makes a vroom sound. His attention span is pretty short as a 16 month old, but this book does a great job keeping it.
What Should I Wear Huggle Buggle Bear - This is a favorite because the author writes the book so that the reader has to help find the clothing that he is missing in the picture. Elle has memorized what he is missing by now, but she still loves reading it.
Cupcake - I can't say that I was super excited to read this book when I saw it, but Elle loves cupcakes and the illustrations. She has memorized every page, and now she "reads" it to us, which is a fun and new dynamic.
You Are Special - I fell in love with this book before I even had kids. It was the first book that I ever purchased when I was pregnant with Elle. It teaches kids to know that they are special regardless of their achievements, but because God has made them.
Rose Revere, Engineer- It's a great book that puts a female character in a traditional male role in society. It also talks about how women played a big part during WWII by helping with engineering and manufacturing. 

Photos by Rennai Hoefer; this post contains affiliate links.

BEST FLOOR PRODUCT

I'm not ashamed to say that I am a neat freak. I wasn't always like this as a kid, but somewhere down the line I fell in love with the satisfaction of creating order from chaos. I love vacuuming, mopping and wiping down counters. I do draw the line at cleaning toilets though. See, I swear I'm still somewhat normal. ;)

Our house is fairly large, and it can be challenging to stay on top of the dirt, but one thing I never skimp on is taking care of our floors. We spent a lot of money to buy hand-scraped, hardwood floors, so I baby them a lot. 

When I purchased the floors I asked the sales rep what I should use to clean them with and she said, "Only use Bona." She proceeding to explain that very little moisture should touch the wood, and harsh chemicals can destroy your floors over time. Bona is water-based and extremely gentle and there's no nasty lemon smell. After she told me that I have never used anything else on my floors.

I love using their floor dusting clothes and disposable wipes for every day use. With Levi dropping food all over the floor every day it comes in handy to be able to slap on a disposable wipe and mop it up quickly. 

Be sure to check out Bona if you have high quality wood floors. I'll never use anything else. 

Photos by Rennai Hoefer

I SEE YOU

I've been reading and hearing this phrase, "I see you," a lot in the media. I've heard Michelle Obama use it, and, most recently, Viola Davis in her tribute to Meryl Streep. It implies a deeper seeing than the surface. It refers to a true understanding and knowing of someone and their motives. It also means that you are not ignoring their voice or actions. I love this phrase and it's meaning so much, especially in this visual digital world where we scroll and consume and read, but we aren't truly listening or understanding one another. 

It makes me sad and angry to know that it takes marches of thousands of people around the world to be heard, seen and understood. And I can't help but think about this on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and with the women's march approaching (January 21st, 2017). 

If I had one super power it would be to help people truly understand one another's desires and needs. And if I could eradicate one problem it would be selfishness. This way we could help meet one other's needs on this earth, and there wouldn't be a person left out (hopefully). But here's the truth: we can actually do have this power - to understand one another and deny our selfishness. 

I know this because this is the main challenge of a marriage. Ryan and I are together every single day, and have been for almost 10 years. We know each other extremely well, but there will never be a day when I know exactly what he is thinking 100% of the time. At the root of the fights that we have as a marriage couple is misunderstanding. What we have learned through marital counseling (everyone should go, btw), is that we need to ask follow up questions before responding with answers. Some example of that are:

"What I am hearing you say is...." repeat back what you have heard the other person say.
"How does this make you feel?" try to understand their feelings behind what they are saying.
"What do you need in this moment?" Most often there is a request or a need behind the discourse.

And then once we make sure to eliminate misunderstanding with clarifying questions we can respond. That doesn't always mean we can meet each others needs, but that usually leads to some sort of compromise.

We as a society can't even get to the point of a compromise. We are just shouting back and forth at each other right now. Let's seek to truly see each other and understand each other right now. Let's ask these questions to our friends and community that we don't see eye to eye with, and love them because they are living, breathing people God has made. 

Photos by Rennai Hoefer; glasses by J. Mclaughlin